Allowed to Fail

Yesterday I had the painful opportunity to be a good parent.

Our Wednesday routine includes leaving home so the Artist can attend a Latin class. As some school work needs to be finished before it is time to leave, there is inevitably some rushing around to get into the car and leave in order to arrive at Latin on time.

Yesterday was no different. We finished some morning subjects, and everyone scattered to brush teeth, put shoes on, gather winter gear, and pile into the car. I noticed the Artist's Latin bag sitting on a chair at the table. Problem is, she was already in the car.

I picked up my purse, her bag, my keys and headed for the door. Then I remembered some conversations I had some 8 years ago with a couple who lamented their children's irresponsibility. I had suggested to the couple, things like "Let them forget to study for that test" and "Let them be late for work" or "Let them get a poor grade on the science project." Their jaws dropped and they thought I was the insane mother of a three year old who would change her tune when my child was the age of theirs.

I put the Artist's bag back where I found it and started the car. She had brought her flash cards along to study for that day's test. At each traffic light I could hear her muttering Latin phrases to herself. I knew she was concentrating, so I didn't talk to her. My own suspense kept building as to when she would discover her bag was missing.

As we neared our destination it dawned on her. She would not have her book with her to make notes as the class reviewed the new word list after the test was taken. I know she felt some regret and was disappointed in herself for forgetting. I felt awful saying something to the effect of "You'll just have to get along without it." But I believe allowing the relatively small failures on an 11-year-old here will help build a sense of responsibility in her that will prevent things like being consistently late for work as a teen.